Like all aspects of sexuality, discovering that you are a top or a bottom is about exploration, curiosity, consent and communication.

You may notice that you fantasise or explore through mediums like pornography but discovering your preference in the moment will be between you and your partner.

If you find that your preference is the same then find ways to negotiate you both getting what you want sexually; and remember there are many ways to be sexual and experience pleasure, it shouldn’t all be focused on penetration.